


i'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore

by Princex_N



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Brainweird, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dogs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Instability, Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Queerplatonic Relationships, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 14:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5589871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princex_N/pseuds/Princex_N
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper decided very quickly that she didn't feel like being played with, and let him know this by growling at him a little. </p><p>This led him to his current position: sitting on the floor of his room and crying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore

**Author's Note:**

> title is from Andrew Jackson Jihad's song "Big Bird"  
> 

This is stupid. Fuck, he  _knows_ how stupid this is, but that apparently that doesn't mean that this is going to end any time soon. 

It isn't even like he had a particularly bad day before this happened, it was like flipping a switch. One second he was more or less fine and the next everything was terrible. 

Just... the absolute worst. 

What happened is this: Bokuto's day was pretty good, mostly average, even if he had a bit of an off day during practice. Akaashi threw to him, and he kept messing up serves, and then when Akaashi stopped serving to him like he asked, he just felt useless and bad about it. For once, practice being over was almost kind of a relief, and he managed to slip away before any of his teammates could stop him. 

He got home okay, and decided to try and cheer himself up by playing with his dog, Pepper. 

Pepper decided very quickly that she didn't feel like being played with, and let him know this by growling at him a little. 

This led him to his current position: sitting on the floor of his room and crying. 

He knows that his dog doesn't hate him. He knows that this isn't a big deal, but that doesn't change the fact that he feels like he's the absolute biggest piece of shit that has ever managed to grace the face of this planet. He's the worst person in existence. He can't do anything right. He can't pack a lunch right, he can't play volleyball right, and even dogs have decided that he's something gross. 

And dogs would know. They're the purest things on this planet, they know how to tell good people from bad people, and Bokuto has clearly been dubbed a "bad person" by the purest dog on the planet. 

Honestly, he doesn't even know why he tries. 

Fuck, like honestly, he should just die. His dog doesn't like him. It's like the end of the fucking world. He's the worst and there's no point. At all. 

"Bokuto-san. What are you doing?" Someone says behind him, and he looks up and through blurry eyes he can see Akaashi standing in the doorway and for whatever reason that just makes him cry  _harder_ because Akaashi obviously went out of his way to come over here because he was concerned about Bokuto, and he probably had other, better, things to do than come check up on his  _captain_ who's supposed to be  _better than this_ , so it's really just another strike against him. He's really on a roll proving himself as The Worst. It's probably the only thing he's good at. 

His face is all wet with tears and snot and probably saliva also, because Bokuto is a  _gross_ crier, and he makes a vague attempt at wiping his face off before realizing that his arms aren't in a much cleaner state and the crying doesn't seem to be stopping any time soon, and so he just gives up and lets the mess continue on. It's not like it  _matters_ or anything. God, can this get any worse?

"Bokuto-san. What's wrong?" Akaashi asks, and  _fuck_ how long has it been since he asks the first question? Damn, Bokuto is just wasting his time, which Akaashi could be spending on something else and better that deserves his attention. 

"Nothing." He tries to lie, so that Akaashi can leave sooner, but he ends up choking on a sob half way through the word, and Akaashi seems largely unimpressed by the attempt, and so he manages to mumble, "She growled at me."

Akaashi comes to sit next to him, crossing his legs and leaning forward slightly. "Who growled at you?" 

"Pepper." Bokuto cries, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face in them. "She growled at me 'cuz she hates me."

"Pepper doesn't hate you, Bokuto-san." Akaashi tells him. 

"She does." Bokuto insists, "She does because she can tell that I'm the Worst. Dogs can just tell those sorts of things, she  _knows_. And she's right." 

"She's not right because she's not saying anything of the sort. You're being ridiculous." 

"I knooow!!!" Bokuto wails, "I know I am, but I can't help it. She growled at me, what else was I supposed to do?"

It's a stupid question and Bokuto knows it. What he's "supposed" to do is deal with it like any other normal fucking human being on the planet, but instead his stupid ass has to have a fucking emotional meltdown over the damn thing. What the fuck is  _wrong_ with him???

Akaashi lets out a little sigh and says, "Bokuto lift your head." 

He does, and scrunches his face up as Akaashi starts dragging something warm over his face. It's a washcloth, he realizes a moment later, and he wonders if Akaashi had gotten up to get it or if he had had it with him the whole time. 

"Go take a shower." Akaashi instructs him, once he's finished wiping off Bokuto's face. "You're still all gross from practice." 

Bokuto sniffles and mumbles, "You should come help-"

"I'm not going to go help you." Akaashi interrupts him, and Bokuto is able to muster up a weak laugh before he gets up and goes. 

He tries to stop crying while he's showering, and manages okay, until he gets out and realizes that he still has homework that he needs to do or else his grades are going to suffer, and he starts crying all over again. 

He tries to stop before Akaashi can see, but  _of course_ Bokuto is loud enough anyway for Akaashi to hear from wherever in the house he was, and he comes over and knocks on the door and tells Bokuto to come out. 

He does and finds Akaashi standing in front of the door, face impassive as he examines Bokuto thoroughly. "You're ridiculous." He murmurs, and Bokuto nearly breaks down  _again_ because Akaashi has clearly had enough of this, he's obviously tired of having to deal with the absolute mess that is Bokuto and why wouldn't he be? Bokuto is even exhausting to himself sometimes, he doesn't know how  _anyone_ ever is able to deal with him. 

But Akaashi doesn't leave or anything like that, he just takes Bokuto's hand and pulls him to his room, and then gently starts pushing him into bed. 

"Take a nap, you really need one." Akaashi tells him. 

"Take one with me?" Bokuto asks, and then immediately wishes that he hadn't because of course Akaashi has better things that he needs to do, not hanging around here and taking care of Bokuto. 

But again, Akaashi doesn't deny him. He simply nudges Bokuto over, and then climbs in, wrapping his arms around Bokuto and pressing his chin to the top of Bokuto's head. 

And Bokuto tucks his face against Akaashi's neck and doubles his efforts to stop crying because he doesn't want to get Akaashi all wet and gross from his tears, and eventually, he's able to fall asleep like that, utterly exhausted from crying, but somewhat more willing to accept the concept that things aren't coming to an end. 

When he wakes up a few hours later, Pepper has crawled into the bed with him, and he can feel her pressed into his back, and Bokuto has to press his face against Akaashi's chest to try and muffle the laugh that's threatening to wake the two of them up and shatter the peaceful moment completely. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is a reoccurring problem for me, so obviously, i decided to write a fic about it.  
> also tbh bokuto and akaashi are both hella aromantic imo  
> [My Tumblr](http://www.princex-n.tumblr.com)


End file.
